What is happening to me?

So in the general way that my brain has a habit of doing at the moment, I completely forgot that I was supposed to be writing this blog. Ha!

Normally as the days pass, I think of all these fascinating things to write about in my blog (they generally never materialise), but since the last post, I have had no thoughts, or even a general consideration that I should have thoughts. Mmmm weird!

But it's not just the blog. Oh no. I have a tutorial tomorrow for which I haven't done a single bit of preparation. I have another one next week which is also distinctly lacking any thought. What is happening to me?

My house however has been cleaned every day recently. We have visited the new baby in the family. I have made trips to town, written all my Christmas cards, and have even given routine to the trips to the supermarket....oh yeah and Tuesday is baking day. Oh...I actually need help!

Still being positive

Being positive works, it really does. Well as long as you keep your pregnancy hormones in check it works.

I have had such a random week, its hard to know what to disect really. Many a time I have thought, oh yes, blog that, but just didn't get round to it, which isn't on really. I know, I know, two followers...cos they're hanging on my every word, but that is not the point. I have to do a blog for the assignment, but more importantly than that, I have started, so I really should do it properly.

That is one of the topics that has been a blog consideration. My control freak nature. Not that I labelled myself as that, oh no, just the neighbour, some random friends and a tutor. Like hello, tell a control freak they are just that, and what do you get, a control freak covering up their control freak behaivour by controlling their outward appearance.

I haven't quite mastered that part. Today I was told I had done enough of some uni work, and I was to basically walk away until after Christmas, yeah right, like that will happen. I have to say I successfully nodded my head and agreed. The next tutorial though I was worn out and got hassled that I didn't seem as content with the feedback as I really should be. Well I was restless. I ran out and promptly rang a friend to do a general blurt of nonsense. It worked. Well, I felt better at any least.

How does any of this relate to being positive? Well, I have almost finished a law essay I have been working on, it just clicked overnight. The Eisteddfod project is well on track, I am so impressed by our progress. Today I have written the most fantastic short story even if I do say so myself....oh yeah, and the script is finally ready to be sent out and about to see if there are any takers.

I also think I have managed this week to not insult anyone.

So does being positive work? Absolutely.

International Eisteddfod

Time to be positive...really. No more negative thoughts (well, thats the plan). It is time to embrace the Uni project on the Eisteddfod. Yeah dull, but being miserable about it is so not helping.

This is the plan. We have to make a promotional video on the International Eisteddfod. Lets face it, its really not my cup of tea, but I (and the rest of the group I hope) are going to make a video, promoting it so that I think it is my cup of tea. Get it?

Today, we met, drank coffee, and loosely discussed possible ideas. Tonight, I have taken the first step, and created a facebook group in an attempt to get some amateur footage from the outside stages and the fringe. Hopefully, this way, and through newspaper and radio pleas, we may get enough footage to show the unseen eisteddfod. Maybe this is a little ambitious, but we will try, and hopefully succeed.

So heres to a successful promotion video. Yay positive.

Yes...I'm moaning!

The past week sucks. Thats harsh, maybe just parts of the last week, either way, there have been many things to make me grumble.

I don't like to come on and write about my moans, but it is so easy, and in some ways, therapeautic. Just like making the cake yesterday, beating those eggs in beat out my own anger at my stupid, and yes i did say stupid, uni course.

Oh yes, the cake, I successfully made two birthday cakes. Neither of which were in the shape of a JCB, but they did have a tractor stuck on top of green coconut. Maybe one day I will post the photos as proof.

Anyway. back to my moans, I dont even know where to start. In actual fact, the more I try to compose the words, the more pathetic the moans sound. They are not, I am shouting that in my head, really. Lets just say in the grand scheme of things, maybe my assignment isn't that important (three to be precise but who's counting), or the fact that the wrong bed was delivered, my son coming down with a cold and me having to cancel his party when the balloons have already taken over every spare bit of space in my house.....really, does anyone care?

I didnt get away with the poetry cheat either. I didnt get caught, I didnt even explain my process. Didnt have to. Was just told that song lyrics would not work in the portfolio.

Well, that sucks!

Cheating Poetry

I think I may have just cheated on two poems. Except it was so easy, I may cheat on the rest.....is this wrong?

Its not like I am just stealing someone elses poems,and maybe changing a few words. I couldnt do that, I'd get caught for sure.

What I have done though, is taken songs I really like, and just changed the words.....well keeping the odd 'you' here and there. Its not that bad, is it?

My gut reaction is no, of course not, and if anyone I knew said they had done that i'd be like, why didn't I think of that? The thing is though, I feel really guilty. And not just an eeny weeny bit, like massively!

Well, I have sent one off...lets hope my tutor doesn't listen to Maximo Park, and if he doesnt notice, I'll send my Green Day rip off.

No seriously, my guilt is such, I will confess my sin. Now I have written this, I am certain, i have indeed cheated.

Woo-hoo for today!

Today was always going to be eventful. Indeed it was very eventful....and I'm going to tell you why.

I should start be mentioning that luckily todays lecture was cancelled, so technically I didn't bunk off. However, it was the media fair from 10am -4pm and I didn't even get to pop my head round the door, whoops!

So, got up late, as anyone would on a packed day. Rushed out the door to get to the health visitor 10 minutes late. Luckily she still saw us, and now instead of our usual 6 weekly appointments, I now only have to tak my son every three months, woo -hoo!.

From there we headed to Jolly Jungles, an indoor play centre packed with noisy toddlers. We lasted and hour and a half and I had to leave....my friend who we met there left 30 mins before we did so as a whole we didn't do too badly.

We then rushed home, allowing time for the mad hunt for paperwork, and to quickly sort out the washing, before heading to our appointment at the hospital. There we collected two little pics and heard the news that I am indeed 10 weeks and two days pregnant. Giving a due date of the 13th June, allowing plnty of time for me to complete my assignments. Woo hoo! From here it was a quick stop at the midwife and finally home.

I continued to potter round, doing more washing, cooking and stuff, like you do, but my house looked a tip. Who cares I thought, not like anyones coming round!

So I'm stood there at the kitchen window, slowly washing the dishs from that morning, when I see a car approach. It runs through my mind that it may be my brother in law, to realise that he doesnt live in the same town, let alone the same country, so no, it wouldn't be him. Then it occurs to me, the only other person I know who drives a car like that, is my husbands old boss.....shock horror, he is approaching the front door!

Yes I hung my head in shame at the wet washing draped around the house. The toys strewn around the floor, the obvious need to hoover.

Yet, this is all irrelevant. He came round with a purpose, and that was to offer Matt a job. Yes thats right, a real job....he's only been out of work for three months, it felt like forever, so another woo hoo for today.

So today was eventful, for all the right reasons.......oh and in case you were wondering, no I didnt quite get round to practicing that JCB cake!

JCB Cake

I made a really big mistake today. Like the biggest mistake in history, more catastophic than anything ever known to man. Yes, thats right, I announced to the world via facebook, that I would be making a JCB birthday cake!

I know. How stupid can one person be?

But it doesnt stop there. Oh no. I have decided, and have already invited, toddlers galore to come and share my sons birthday, in the style of a good old fashion childrens party....at my house.

Stop panicking, you say...it'll be fine. Did I mention I have completely refurbished my lounge in the last couple of weeks?

So there you have. My announcement to the world of my complete stupidity. The party will go ahead, jelly and ice cream, cakes and crisps. The JCB cake? Well, I have a week to get baking and perfecting. Bearing in mind though that I struggle with fairy cakes, I think I may just be making a last minute dash to the shops.

Confidence crisis

I wrote a post the other day, I deleted it shortly afterwards. I wasn't wrong in what I had written, but I was wrong in the way it was written. I could have re written the post upon realising my error, instead I banished it, hung my head in shame, and hid away from the existance of the blog.

See the thing is, I am not a confident blogger. In fact, I wouldn't say I was a confident person as a whole. Appearances can be deceptive though, and I know many people would be confused by my confession.

I talk loudly in lectures, have no shame in shouting about positive comments made about me, and I certainly don't shy away from giving my opinion.

What's not seen though is my tossing and turning in bed, reliving the days events, analysing cringe worthy statements or opinions. Worst of all, me panicking that I may have said something to cause an offence....because I would never mean to. Well unless you pissed me off in which case I like to think you would know about it.

Anyway, I can see this piece is tecnically poor, and as per usual the content is hardly fascinating, but its mine, and I guess that will have to do.

Happy days

I am so happy, like really happy. Amazing how the smallest of things can do that.

I have spent the last week or so feeling really sick. I've had no motivation, and even a shopping trip cant cheer me up. Just let me sleep has been my plea.

I still do, feel sick that is. I missed a lecture yesterday, spent this mornings lecture in a complete daze, and considered not bothering with my creative tutorial this afternoon.

Only considered mind. I went in, I braved it. Bottle of water in my hand, head pounding. Why you ask, why would someone put themselves through that? Simply, I had to. My finished script was bound, and there was no way I would let anything stand in the way of getting that in.

So there you have it. That's been my day. Oh, why am I so happy? My tutor also had a short story of mine to discuss, all positive for that. Overall though, he said, 'I admire your writing.'

Watch me do the happy dance! I may not be published, I may never earn millions, but someone out there likes my writing, and just that, just that alone, makes me very very happy.

Big Sigh!

So back to Uni today! After a last minute panic last night, having realised I had failed to do my research for todays interview (eek), I bodly made my way into my lecture, feeling quite smug that I had at least one question lined up.

I should point out that there was at least twenty of us doing the interviewing, so one question each was quite sufficient.

The project we are doing, I have to say, I have no interest in. It's one of those modules that I really wish I didnt have to do, but I go with it all the same. Ask any student and most will agree this is the reason for such poor attendance. (Did I just say that out loud?)

Anyway, once again I should have had 'nerd' tattooed across my forehead. I think between us we mustered four questions.....well that is until our tutor went to get the interviewee, when I then informed the group of my findings last night and between us we gathered some more.

All I can say is shocking! Everytime I think I have been bad bad student, the rest go and show me how bad you really can be.

Reading week.....

So reading week has begun, actually we are half way through now, and what have I read? Nothing, nada, zilch!

I do have a genuine excuse, no, really, I do. I ordered my books a few weeks ago, such the good student I am, but until lunchtime today, was still awaiting their arrival. Since then, well Neighbours was on, facebook needed checking, you know how it is!

My plan had been to get up bright and early this morning (Monday was ruled out because we were driving back from Plymouth, Tuesday was recovery day!) and get organised. I would start on the media law essay, and if possible, make a start on the new script,along with doing that oh so important reading.

The best plans never work out, one thing in my favour was the need to start a blog, which I am doing now. So yay me!

Will I have read anything by the end of this reading week? Oh yes....but probably nothing more than the takeaway menu.