Confidence crisis

I wrote a post the other day, I deleted it shortly afterwards. I wasn't wrong in what I had written, but I was wrong in the way it was written. I could have re written the post upon realising my error, instead I banished it, hung my head in shame, and hid away from the existance of the blog.

See the thing is, I am not a confident blogger. In fact, I wouldn't say I was a confident person as a whole. Appearances can be deceptive though, and I know many people would be confused by my confession.

I talk loudly in lectures, have no shame in shouting about positive comments made about me, and I certainly don't shy away from giving my opinion.

What's not seen though is my tossing and turning in bed, reliving the days events, analysing cringe worthy statements or opinions. Worst of all, me panicking that I may have said something to cause an offence....because I would never mean to. Well unless you pissed me off in which case I like to think you would know about it.

Anyway, I can see this piece is tecnically poor, and as per usual the content is hardly fascinating, but its mine, and I guess that will have to do.

Happy days

I am so happy, like really happy. Amazing how the smallest of things can do that.

I have spent the last week or so feeling really sick. I've had no motivation, and even a shopping trip cant cheer me up. Just let me sleep has been my plea.

I still do, feel sick that is. I missed a lecture yesterday, spent this mornings lecture in a complete daze, and considered not bothering with my creative tutorial this afternoon.

Only considered mind. I went in, I braved it. Bottle of water in my hand, head pounding. Why you ask, why would someone put themselves through that? Simply, I had to. My finished script was bound, and there was no way I would let anything stand in the way of getting that in.

So there you have it. That's been my day. Oh, why am I so happy? My tutor also had a short story of mine to discuss, all positive for that. Overall though, he said, 'I admire your writing.'

Watch me do the happy dance! I may not be published, I may never earn millions, but someone out there likes my writing, and just that, just that alone, makes me very very happy.

Big Sigh!

So back to Uni today! After a last minute panic last night, having realised I had failed to do my research for todays interview (eek), I bodly made my way into my lecture, feeling quite smug that I had at least one question lined up.

I should point out that there was at least twenty of us doing the interviewing, so one question each was quite sufficient.

The project we are doing, I have to say, I have no interest in. It's one of those modules that I really wish I didnt have to do, but I go with it all the same. Ask any student and most will agree this is the reason for such poor attendance. (Did I just say that out loud?)

Anyway, once again I should have had 'nerd' tattooed across my forehead. I think between us we mustered four questions.....well that is until our tutor went to get the interviewee, when I then informed the group of my findings last night and between us we gathered some more.

All I can say is shocking! Everytime I think I have been bad bad student, the rest go and show me how bad you really can be.

Reading week.....

So reading week has begun, actually we are half way through now, and what have I read? Nothing, nada, zilch!

I do have a genuine excuse, no, really, I do. I ordered my books a few weeks ago, such the good student I am, but until lunchtime today, was still awaiting their arrival. Since then, well Neighbours was on, facebook needed checking, you know how it is!

My plan had been to get up bright and early this morning (Monday was ruled out because we were driving back from Plymouth, Tuesday was recovery day!) and get organised. I would start on the media law essay, and if possible, make a start on the new script,along with doing that oh so important reading.

The best plans never work out, one thing in my favour was the need to start a blog, which I am doing now. So yay me!

Will I have read anything by the end of this reading week? Oh yes....but probably nothing more than the takeaway menu.